sup kids. i’m back. or i’m here… for right now.
and what do i feel like rambling on about today you may be wondering, kind reader? heck, i may not even know myself. but i’m sitting here, addressing this website after it almost went down on me during my annual renewal – an auto-payment that almost was missed due to expired cards and new addresses – and i found myself devastated at the thought that i wouldn’t have this outlet.
so here i sit, at quarter to nine on a monday evening, three weeks into our family’s first deployment. (i know, its HIS deployment, but we certainly pay our own price not having dad at home.) i’ve surprised myself i guess, as i thought this would be a lot harder than it is – being home with the three kids, solo parenting 24/7. it certainly went better than when we initially moved to Nova Scotia, pre-baby-girl and i was home alone with the two boys. i guess the change of having a 2.5 year old as my oldest in that time versus having that age as my youngest, this time, makes a huge difference. for the most part, things are running smoothly. sure, we do way more girl dinners than is reasonable but when it becomes unreasonable i simply refer to it as dinnertime charcuterie instead – wow so fancy, such grace, amazing momming. i won’t even jinx it by saying i’ve had every kid sleeping through the night TWO nights thus far. (don’t message me if your kids sleep through the night its just not a thing that happens for us and i’m not addressing it further, but so happy for you)
we are absolutely in LOVE with the island. i was so in love with the east coast and it’s charm will always have a place in my heart, but this is where i need to be. things have sort of fallen together for us here in a way that makes sense. my middle will start kindergarten here in the fall, but right now the youngest two have found their way into a pre-school twice a week, which they and i absolutely adore. our eldest is thriving at his new school. the transition went smoother than we could have hoped for and we are all happy making this place our home.
as i’m sure is a common theme throughout all the ever-changing years of motherhood – i’m re-examining everything i know and think about myself again and again. who am i when they don’t need me 24/7? what do i even enjoy? i’m working on convincing my dear girlfriend here to take up a gymnastics class with me so we can discover something ‘just for us’ again. (i say that, but really i’m going to learn some cool moves to show off to the kids who boo-d at my bridge and were only mildly impressed at my cartwheel) i want to take up pottery (i know this seems random to me too, but i feel like i would start and then i would become, like, so good at it and then i would sell the stuff i make at craft fairs and i would wear long skirts and birks and people would be like – wow she’s so talented and i would be like omg i’m not i just took this up but thank you this mug will be 54$ and it would just be such a good vibe). when was the last time i picked up my tarot deck? really i’m probably just doing that thing where we collect hobbies but don’t actually do them. anyone else? a few years ago i decided i was going to embroider everything we owned, bought everything, then never even attempted it… its a sickness really.
anyway i suppose that’s enough rambling for tonight. i’ve missed this though.. so maybe during my quiet solo evenings (the few and far between) i can continue my one single – never fail hobby: yappin’ on the interwebs.